Had to reschedule my interview for Social Security. Ex couldn't get me my kids Social Security numbers in time.

Court on Tuesday. Are they going to throw me in jail? No clue, my lawyer still hasn't called me back.

Shadow's gf is visiting for the next two weeks, to help him get ready to move.

Connecticut mental health won't prescribe me anything for the short term to help me get through all this. They offered to prescribe me one dose of Ativan, for the day of my court date. My clinician's response when I told her I wasn't able to cope until then was "use your DBT skills, and remember to breathe."

If my motherfucking DBT skills were worth a damn, I wouldn't *need* to be medicated. I wouldn't be crying my eyes out every night. I wouldn't be isolating myself away from everyone and everything. I'd leave the house. I'd leave this chair. This screen.

It's just not worth this. Why is the struggle worth what I have? I've lost my kids, any money I had, my sense of self-worth, my dignity, and my heart. I'm a husk of a human being, and I'm tired of fighting the fight. The hardest part of living is deciding when enough is enough. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, there are no happy endings. There's just endings, and there's nothing happy about them.

Sometimes, things just aren't supposed to work out. I get that now.

-Zuri

Switched to a new CSS by *Benijamino

When you get a chance, please check out my new poll?

"The heart deceives, because it is never anything but the expression of the mind’s miscalculations ... I don’t know what the heart is, not I: I only use the word to denote the mind’s frailties." - Marquis de Sade

Spooky's latest fixation: STEAMPUNK





Also be sure to check out the band Abney Park when you get a chance, I've been grooving to their song Root of all Evil, and I'm in love with it.